


fine, great.

by possessedradios (orphan_account)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: (Oh it makes me kind of happy that this is an official tag already), Canon Asexual Character, F/M, Fluff, Georgie is Very Good I lov her she's good at relationships, Internalized Acephobia, Mentions of past partners being Not Great about asexuality, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 18:09:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/possessedradios
Summary: This is fine,Jon keeps telling himself.Georgie disagrees, and Jon does, too, in theory.





	fine, great.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is uhhh, the title of "Fine, Great" by Modern Baseball, it's 4:15 am; I can't be original or witty.
> 
> Written for Nice Anon on tumblr but also it's Super Self Indulgent Very Ace Stuff, the second. You're welcome!

_This is fine. It’s fine._

Jon starts repeating these sentences inside his head when Georgie smiles at him and asks him to stay the night. He keeps telling himself that _It’s fine, nothing is wrong, this is fine_ as he nods, and the words are playing on loop while she starts kissing him somewhere halfway through a movie.

Her hands on his shoulders feel heavy and he’s uncomfortably aware of the slightly uneven backrest of the old couch where it’s digging into his back. Georgie pulls away for just a moment, for just long enough to shift so she’s straddling his lap.

Jon swallows and stares at her and _This is fine_ leans back before she can kiss him again. “Georgie,” he says, and then nothing, because _Nothing’s wrong_ he doesn’t know what there is to say.

She grins at him. “Hey, relax. There’s no need to worry,” she says. “My roommate isn’t here tonight.”

 _Splendid_ , Jon thinks, and then, _It’s fine. I’m fine._

He does like the kissing, he thinks. He likes the feeling of Georgie’s lips on his own. He could do without the tongue, because it’s messy and feels odd more than anything else, but the kissing, all in all, is nice. Georgie’s lips on his neck are, too. It makes him feel warm and something else he can’t really name and wouldn’t feel comfortable trying to define, anyway.

He does like Georgie tugging at his t-shirt as well. In a way. He likes the sense of urgency and impatience in it, it makes him feel like he did something right, like he’s at least alright at whatever this is, exactly. He likes Georgie, a lot, so he wants her to feel good. But–

But he also _doesn’t_ like Georgie tugging at his t-shirt. In a lot of ways. He certainly doesn’t like the spark of panic it causes and _This is fine, Christ, stop making a big deal out of it._

He lifts his arms so she can take it off, watches her as she pulls her own blouse over her head. She looks at him as if she’s expecting him to do something, say something, so Jon mumbles a few words about her being pretty (because she is, very much so) and trails his fingers over the straps of her bra. It doesn’t quite feel like his hand belongs to him. She reacts by pushing her own fingers underneath the strap of his binder, and Jon’s breath hitches a little for all the wrong reasons, and when she asks, “Is this okay?” he nods, because _It’s fine and nothing’s wrong._ He nods again when she asks if he wants to move this to the bedroom a few minutes later.

Jon likes Georgie. A lot. He likes the way she looks, too, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her body. He thinks she’s got the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen – he’s not very good at eye contact; it feels intrusive and inappropriately intimate, but Georgie’s eyes are very good. Kind and soft and incredibly sincere. She’s got a very slight gap between her front teeth which he finds cute as well. Her thumb has a wonderful shape in a way that makes his own run along it very smoothly whenever they’re holding hands – which, admittedly, perhaps he should initiate that more, it’s possible that she’d appreciate some–

“Jon? Are you– Is everything alright?”

Georgie’s voice interrupts his thoughts violently, and he blinks and stares at her. For the fraction of a second, he considers telling her that he wants to go back to the living room, wants to put his t-shirt back on and his binder most of all, he considers telling her that he’s not sure he’s comfortable taking it off around her at all and certainly not before being touched like that. Then he remembers how his first girlfriend had reacted when he’d tried telling her, and the impatient voice of his ex boyfriend, and he likes Georgie, he really does, so he tells himself, _This is fine and nothing is wrong and you are fine._

“I, ah, yes. Yes, I am alright.” He tries a smile and must fail miserably, because Georgie’s expression doesn’t change; her eyes are still full of concern and she’s frowning slightly. Jon is afraid that he messed this up, that he ruined the entire evening simply with his ridiculous overthinking, so he leans back in for another kiss that turns out a little clumsy because it’s hasty and a little desperate and _This is fine I’m fine_.

He thinks he can do this; he can do this with Georgie, for Georgie, because _Everything is fine_ he likes her and she likes sex, because she’s normal and he’s– well, he’s not, apparently, and that’s really no one’s problem but his own, and he’s sure he can just ignore his aversion, his hands still don’t quite feel like his own as he runs them over Georgie’s body, which is unfortunate but will undoubtedly make it easier for him to go through with this–

“Jon? Hey, Jon, please– Please stop.”

Again it’s Georgie’s words that disrupt his train of thought, and it takes him a long moment to realize that she’s holding his hands, that he’s not touching her anymore. He looks at her, confused and a little annoyed, because she broke through that half-comfortable place his head had been in just now; not quite there, half dizzy, oddly peaceful in an uneasy way.

She looks concerned, still, or again. He doesn’t like that look on her face, so he stares down at their hands instead.

“Jon,” Georgie says slowly, deliberately, choosing her words carefully, “I’m not … really sure what the problem is, exactly, but you’re clearly not comfortable right now, so … let’s just … stop, alright?”

“I’m fine,” he says, automatically, and sees her shake her head out of the corner of his eyes, so he adds, “I’m not–” and then, “I’m sorry,” because he didn’t mean for his discomfort to be so obvious.

Georgie sighs and lifts their hands to press a soft kiss to the back of his. “I’ll go get our clothes, alright? We’ll talk in a second.”

Jon very much doesn’t want to talk, because he likes her and he doesn’t want her to break up with him, but he very much does want to put his clothes back on, so he doesn’t object as she gets up and disappears back into the living room.

“I’m not a mind reader,” she says, five minutes laters, sitting on the bed next to him, leaned against his side. They’re both dressed again, and Jon trails his fingers over the hem of his shirt, twist them into it, lets go again, repeats the motions.

Georgie gently bumps her shoulder against his, and he nods, an indication that he’s listening, even with his eyes fixed on something else. She accepts this, and continues, “I’m glad you’re a terrible actor, but in general, I assume that we trust each other enough to be open and honest, alright? That means we tell each other if we’re uncomfortable with … well, anything. Okay? Please. I don’t– I never want to do anything you don’t want. I wouldn’t want to pressure you into anything.”

The words don’t really make sense to him. He registers them, he processes them, he understands their meaning, but the entire concept feels unfamiliar. This isn’t how this works; she invited him to stay the night and clearly did so purposefully–

But he doesn’t want to argue about it, he doesn’t want to explain that she got it wrong, that he’ll _never_ be comfortable with this; he tried and failed–

He doesn’t want to argue about it. Because he likes Georgie and she hasn’t broken up with him and the weight of her leaned against him feels nice and acts as something of a grounding presence, very real, very there. And there’s the relief. It’s a background hum, a low buzzing at the back of his mind, somewhere behind everything else. Behind everything else, he’s glad they’re dressed again; he’s thankful that she made him stop.

“Alright,” he says, “I will– Yes. I’m, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have–”

“It’s fine,” she says, “Like I said … you’re a _terrible_ actor.” The smile is audible in her voice, and Jon smiles as well, without thinking.

They sit like that for another few minutes, and then Georgie mentions the movie, and that they missed the best part, and just like that, they move back to the living room and Georgie starts the DVD again. It’s a little scary, almost, how normal it feels, but Jon eventually manages to shake off that feeling. _This is fine_ , he thinks, and somewhere halfway through the movie reaches over to take Georgie’s hand into his, running his thumb along hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Eyy, I'm possessed-radios (tumblr) / possessedradios (twitter, pillowfort) and my podcast sideblog on tumblr is shortwaveattentionspan. If you send me nice messages, I'll end up writing fic during long train rides for you.


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